It all started a year ago, with a hug and a few words....
You go through life, not knowing how amazing it is to truly love someone, to truly be loved back, and then out of know where BOOM! Love finds you. You didn't plan for it, you didn't see it coming, it just happened. It found you and now it's completely taken over every thought that's in your head. Now you're stuck trying to figure out what to do with all these new found, never experienced feelings. Love is scary. Loving someone and just praying they catch you when you fall, is scary.
Music used to just be a beautiful voice, singing these beautiful words that I so longed to relate to real life- well now I can. There isn't a song I can listen to without him running through my thoughts.
Chick flicks/Romantic movies used to just be a fantasy in my head. I longed for a man to touch me in the way they did in the movies, and stare at my with those eyes. The kind of eyes that pierce right through you, right into your heart. I know that feeling all too well now. I don't even have to look to see if he's looking, I know he is.
My smile. My god. My goofy-ass-ear-to-ear smile. I'll be listening to music, or something will happen that reminds me of him and I'll be sitting there, with that smile, not even knowing that I am. I have no control over that smile. My smile belongs to him.
I know what it's like to melt beneath someone's touch, to have my whole body ache, just to be close to him. I know what it feels like to have my heart cry for another heart, to feel incomplete without it. Love is frustrating that way. You can go your whole life without but to experience it, then go without it, is complete and utter torture.
So, what does one do when they come across this once-in-a-lifetime love? It's terrifying. It's the scariest damn thing to love someone this much, this unconditionally. It's scary to know that he has the power to break my heart in a way it's never been broken. I fear that. I fear being broken again. All the little pieces of me, that he slowly loved back together, he now has the power to shatter them. It's paralyzing to think about.
When you find that one person who makes your whole world stop, allows you to stand still in such a fast pace world, it changes you forever. No amount of time will help you forget. No amount of time will let you love this person any less. So, I can fear being broken all I want, there's no escaping this love at this point.
What I fear even more than being broken, what I fear more than anything is allowing such an extraordinary love slip away, not giving it the respect and attention it truly deserves. People search, pray, and hope for a love like this. We found it without even looking. We are the lucky ones. Everything happens for a reason, we should not be ignorant in thinking this happened on accident.
How it started, the crap we've been through before, our ex's, NONE of that matters, not at all. What matters is the here, the now. We can't control what's happened in the past but we have the ability to control what happens in the future. We have the ability to control the ending and make sure it's a beautiful one. I chose to rise above the fear, and own my life. I own my happiness, regardless of how it appears to other people
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it." - Nelson Mandela
You go through life, not knowing how amazing it is to truly love someone, to truly be loved back, and then out of know where BOOM! Love finds you. You didn't plan for it, you didn't see it coming, it just happened. It found you and now it's completely taken over every thought that's in your head. Now you're stuck trying to figure out what to do with all these new found, never experienced feelings. Love is scary. Loving someone and just praying they catch you when you fall, is scary.
Music used to just be a beautiful voice, singing these beautiful words that I so longed to relate to real life- well now I can. There isn't a song I can listen to without him running through my thoughts.
Chick flicks/Romantic movies used to just be a fantasy in my head. I longed for a man to touch me in the way they did in the movies, and stare at my with those eyes. The kind of eyes that pierce right through you, right into your heart. I know that feeling all too well now. I don't even have to look to see if he's looking, I know he is.
My smile. My god. My goofy-ass-ear-to-ear smile. I'll be listening to music, or something will happen that reminds me of him and I'll be sitting there, with that smile, not even knowing that I am. I have no control over that smile. My smile belongs to him.
I know what it's like to melt beneath someone's touch, to have my whole body ache, just to be close to him. I know what it feels like to have my heart cry for another heart, to feel incomplete without it. Love is frustrating that way. You can go your whole life without but to experience it, then go without it, is complete and utter torture.
So, what does one do when they come across this once-in-a-lifetime love? It's terrifying. It's the scariest damn thing to love someone this much, this unconditionally. It's scary to know that he has the power to break my heart in a way it's never been broken. I fear that. I fear being broken again. All the little pieces of me, that he slowly loved back together, he now has the power to shatter them. It's paralyzing to think about.
When you find that one person who makes your whole world stop, allows you to stand still in such a fast pace world, it changes you forever. No amount of time will help you forget. No amount of time will let you love this person any less. So, I can fear being broken all I want, there's no escaping this love at this point.
What I fear even more than being broken, what I fear more than anything is allowing such an extraordinary love slip away, not giving it the respect and attention it truly deserves. People search, pray, and hope for a love like this. We found it without even looking. We are the lucky ones. Everything happens for a reason, we should not be ignorant in thinking this happened on accident.
How it started, the crap we've been through before, our ex's, NONE of that matters, not at all. What matters is the here, the now. We can't control what's happened in the past but we have the ability to control what happens in the future. We have the ability to control the ending and make sure it's a beautiful one. I chose to rise above the fear, and own my life. I own my happiness, regardless of how it appears to other people
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it." - Nelson Mandela
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