My heart is heavy tonight. I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I love my children with a fire that will never burn out. I would walk through fire for them. I would run into a burning building to save every single one of them. I would jump in front of a bullet, give my last breath to save them, and yet I get to witness other people hurting their kids in ways they'll never comprehend.
Your child should never have to beg for your love and attention. No child should feel responsible for your actions, your decision to use drugs. Forget the "It's an illness"bullshit! It's just another excuse to enable. My life is hard, sometimes I think about how it would feel to numb my pain but what stops me is my family, my mother, father, siblings, children, friends, but most importantly me. I make the decision to not go down that road. I made that decision a long time ago to not be that type of person. I'm not runner. I will face life head on
I have seen first hand what drugs to kids so when I see kids I love (including my own) dealing with it, it hurts. I cry for their innocence and their childhoods. I couldn't image having shitty, selfish parents. My parents are my base, my core, the place I've always been able to call home. Every kid should have that. There's just so much to this world I don't understand. I don't understand people.
If I ever had a falling out with my parentd- well one that would never happen, either they or I would hunt/stalk the other until we were in the same room and hashed out whatever. If something big were to happen, my parents would always try to mend things. I don't understand how some people can leave this kind of pressure on their children. You were/still are a terrible parent and blame your kids for wanting nothing to do with you? You think it's on them to make the first move and make things right? Some people are just sick. Hurt your children over and over. Lie to them, let them down over and over and add insult to injury but proving to them they don't matter by not fixing the problems and putting them first. Some people deserve to die slow painful deaths.
Tonight, I am feeling grateful for my parents, my childhood but I have a heavy heart for the children I know who don't and will never have that kind of unconditional love and support. Damaged people creating damaged kids. The great part of this story is watching a certain child grow up and break the cycle. Using her life as an example, not as an excuse. I know it must still be so lonely and I'm sure she has a million unanswered questions but watching her thrive is the most amazing feeling. Just goes to show how some people use their stories as excuses while others use theirs as examples.
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