Internal struggles....

I have been through many many struggles in the 27 years that I have been alive but it seems most recently I am going through internal struggles. Knowing when to push, pull or just stop all together. It's hard because I know that just one choice can affect my entire family and have long lasting affects.

My most recent internal struggle was over taxes. Legally because I solely support them, I have the right to claim all five of my children but because my ex husband paid child support all year I allowed him to claim one of our children. He asked a few times if he could claim both and I let him know no, tax season isn't the only time to be a father, my kids aren't just his tax right off. It irritated me beyond words.

On Saturday his Aunt filed his taxes and wrote me (thankfully) to double check if he was allowed to claim both kids (he told her we agreed upon this) and I let her know that I absolutely did not give him permission to claim both. No problem, she only filed him claiming Alexia.

It's hard because I know he could use the money right now, but I can't think like that. I have to think like a mother. I support them all year with little to no help from him and I am not responsible for him, I am responsible for them. But, being the person I am, it's hard to be selfish.

I am getting more back this year then any other year and it's going to go towards getting my kids new beds, new dressers, new toys buckets, new clothes, new shoes, decorate their new rooms when we move to a bigger place, moving to a bigger place, maintenance work on the car that takes them everywhere etc. I am extremely excited to see their faces when it's all done and put together!! :)

Interal battle- 0  Jamie's kids- 1