Letting go...

I've decided it's time to let go...

I've been carrying around so much anger that isn't mine to burden. I've been putting more weight on my shoulder then was mine to carry.

I can't control the way people choose to live their lives. I can't control the way their minds work, what's a priority to them. I can't control if they choose to see their children or take care of their responsibilities.

All I can do is be the best mother I can be and let be what will be.

I can't control how others view loyalty or friendship. I can't control how a friend may act, or what they may say. I can't make them remember the bond we once shared and how we were basically sister's for 17 years.

All I can do is be the best friend I can possible be, regardless if the other person is deserving of it or not.

I don't like the fact that my children have to feel the pain they feel....I wish I could take it off of their hearts. I don't want them to grow up angry & bitter so I'm letting go of my resentment towards their father.... Only life lessons and time will be able to help them come to terms and move on themselves.

It is not mine to carry around the burden of another person's actions and decision making with them.

Again, all I can do is be the best mother possible and love them unconditionally. 

I'm letting go....of all the pain, the resentment,  the disappointment,  the anger, frustration, sadness, the disgust,  the pity, the shame, the blame and I'm opting to be happy. 

There's so much in this world we are unable to control, but we can control how we allow it to affect our lives and how we treat others. I refuse to spend another second of my life being mad at another person and their actions. They are the ones missing out, and I refuse to miss out on all the wonderful things in life because I'm stuck being mad. I am tired of being stuck.

I never thought in a million years my ex husband wouldn't be involved in my children's life. Never ever would I have guessed a 17 year friendship would go up in flames as if it never meant anything at all....there's so many things I never thought would happen, that did.

If I've learned anything it's that life is cruel, and people change but it doesn't mean I have to let it change me. I believe in love. I believe in friendship. I believe friendship is more then what you have in common, it's CHOOSING to keep a special place in your heart for that person. I believe it's a conscious decision to not let life get in the way, to say regardless of time spent together, things in common, or anything else....you  still mean something to me. Friendship is a two way street, both sides need to make the decision to never give up.

I have been walking around mad for so long I don't know how I did anything else. I thought being mad gave me the power and made me feel better to go off on rants but letting go off it all I've learned...peace. I've never felt more free, more peaceful, more happy.

I believe people have good intentions in the beginning. They see this beautiful little baby girl, want to give her the world....but then life happens and decisions were made that caused people to get lost. People can have the best intentions but are unable to fight their inner demons off long enough to fulfil the promises once made. Promises to always be there and never leave their child fatherless like they were.....promises to always be there, no matter what. Promises....more promises....all broken. So many tears....so much sadness...

Things like these, that I have taken so personal, so to heart, are not my burden. I am a great mother, a great friend, a great person.  I can't control other people's actions but I can control how I allow it to affect mine and my children's life.

So, WE are letting go... and CHOOSING to be happy in the face of sadness. Choosing to be happy and believe in love, and friendship. Choosing to have faith and dream big. Choosing to let go and say, it is what it is and there's nothing we can do about it.

Choosing to say, we love you and are truly sorry you are lost. We hope one day you find your way back but regardless we are going to be happy. It takes more energy to be unhappy and it feels 100 times better to chose to be happy, and actually be happy.

We are letting go....and so should you. Choose to let it all go and be happy. Life is too short, so smile,  love those that treat you right, wish the ones that don't well, and move on.

(: