As i tossed and turned, stirred and grunted in my bed last night trying to find the right position to fall asleep i realized that it was much more than a comfortable position i was trying to find. I had something on my mind that was bugging me and so i lay there for the next 2 1/2 hours and thought, and thought, and thought.
Here's my conclusion......I really hate it when people praise me on what a great mother i am, and how much strength i have. Because on most days i don't feel like i am doing my best, and some days i want to quit and just cry. Being a mother is the best gift ever given to me, and that's what it is, it's a gift. I appreciate every one of my little gifts but the reality is, motherhood isn't easy.
Most days i search for energy i don't have, patience i wish i had, and skills i don't possess.
I go to bed thinking that i should of said "I love you" one more time, read one more book, or given one more hug. I always feel like i should do just a little more. Maybe that's not fair to put my expectations that high but my mother always had enough patience, she always had enough time, and always knew what to do.
I know i know, i am not my mother but i strive to be like her because let's face it, you don't get much better than her. My father is also very loving, understanding, and giving as well but there's nothing quite like a mother's love. My mother is amazing, my best friend, my rock. Without my mother......I don't know what i would do. Everything i know is because of her.
The point of this blog is not to throw a pity party for myself because i know i am a good mother, i know my nuggets are well taken care of, loved for & happy, healthy children. The point is to say that i want to be more like my mother, a little more caring, patient, make more time for my children & also always know how to help whatever their facing. I want my children to look back at their childhood and feel the way i do about mine....that is was the best time of their lives & whatever they faced, their mother was always there....their rock. (:
Losing my Father
From such a young age, I dreaded getting that phone call. I imagined how I react and tried to imagine the pain I'd feel. I played it ov...
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From such a young age, I dreaded getting that phone call. I imagined how I react and tried to imagine the pain I'd feel. I played it ov... -
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It's funny how life can take new meaning. As you get older, the things that once mattered, no longer do. You realize that going out to ...