Another letter to baby....

Dear Child of Mine,

We are now in week 15 (and a few days) of our little journey together. I can feel you move now and i must say for being so tiny still you are a very strong baby. I am no longer having the horrible symptoms that i had during the first trimester. The morning sickness is gone & I have one hell of an appetite now. I am going through a lot of things emotionally and i feel horrible because i know it's affecting you. Every time I cry, you move and it reminds me to calm down, I have you to worry about. I want to give you everything and I want all the happiness in the world for you. The reality of our situation is that it might end up just being us and your siblings when you get here. You'll still have your dad, I just don't know where we will stand at that point. I want to give you a family, I want you to see your dad everyday and grow up in the same house with both of us. I really hope i can do that for you.

Growing up I was really close to my father (your Grandpa) and I have a lot of amazing memories of my childhood because of him. Grandpa always worked so many jobs to make sure we had what we needed in life. We got to go on many many vacations because of his hard work and see a lot of amazing things. I hope that i can give the same things to you. Mommy is working really hard to try and repair things with dad. It's a lot of work and between that and giving you a healthy place to grow for the next 5 months...I am exhausted. I am going to find out if you are a boy or girl soon!! I am super excited. Dad still thinks you are a boy....I am not sure.

Your siblings are really excited to meet you and they don't quite understand that it takes a long time until you are ready to come and greet them. Alexia says "The baby is coming out next week" all the time, and i have to take her to the calender and show her just how far away it is. I tell them you will be here after these birthdays, after fireworks, camping, etc.  Alexia is really excited that you will be born kind of around her birthday too. Aspen says she will hold you and kiss your head. She says that SHE is my nugget though, and i can't call you that. Alyssa is just a sweetheart and even though you don't know her voice yet, it's her who is always talking to you. She lays by my tummy and says "Hi baby, I am your big sister Alyssa." It's adorable and makes me really happy to see that you have so much love waiting for you to come out.

You are starting to grow by leaps and bounds and mommy is starting to look more pregnant everyday. I am excited to continue on this journey with you. It's just us two....I love you.

-Mom